gypsyjunk

2012-03-05T12:24:00.000-06:00

Not too much happening around here... we are waiting for spring to start showing herself.

I did finish my first pair of longies for Cedar! The pattern is Picky Pants, and I think it's my new favorite pattern - there are so many options - waist, shorties, capris, longies, and finishing options. There are so many possibilities! LOVE!

In fact, I have more of this yarn leftover - I think I will do a pair of shorties for him for summer too. ;)

We made our first window star as well - and being that outside is really white (white buildings, white snow, white sky) the color was definitely needed to cheer us up.

I hope to have a book review for you all soon! I'm really excited to get my hands on this one.... ;)

Peace, K

The longer days

2012-03-01T09:13:00.000-06:00

I think we have had more snowfall this week than we have had in our whole (very dry) winter! The boys have had fun playing in the fresh snow - the snow fort is attest to that - but I feel, like I feel every year, that winter is beginning to ware on us all.

Thank goodness it is March - once March is here, then I feel like we can start looking forward to spring. Our spring more than likely wont be here for awhile, but it feels attainable now that February is gone.

We've been trying to keep busy...

Busy playing and learning...

Making some laundry soap...

And this mama has been brainstorming ways to make some of our dreams come to fruition sooner rather than later. Oh patience - you are so hard to have sometimes. ;)

What are you up to?

2012-02-29T18:54:00.000-06:00

It's that time again!

If you didn't know, I put together and send out a seasonal newsletter called Wives' Tales. It's nothing extremely fancy, but it is a place for us women to share our wisdom with each other - whether that's tips, tricks, tidbits, stories, poems, biographies, or revolutions.... And it's for all women, not just stay at home moms, and not just married women. All women.

Right now I'm accepting submissions for the Spring issue, which I hope to have out to readers by the middle of March! If you are interested, I usually send out a first copy free, and I'll take all submissions!

2012-02-26T14:28:00.000-06:00

Winter has reclaimed the land!

Hope you are enjoying your weekend - we are enjoying being snowed in!

Sewing up a Storm

2012-02-24T12:24:00.001-06:00

You will have to forgive my dark and not-so-attractive photos today. My studio space has no natural lighting - and I hate flash photography, so this is what we get. ;)

I've been working hard sewing new clothes for the boys - three pants, and three shirts for Thorin, and two pants, and two shirts for Cedar. I wanted them to have some fresh clothes for spring and summer - it's been so long since they have gotten new clothes (we do a lot of secondhand, and Cedar gets hand-me-downs). I chose linen for both the pants and shirts - cool, comfortable... I think they will work nice.

I ended up getting some left-over material from my mother-in-law that I've used for the trim, waist, and cuffs of the pants (along with a couple of special fabrics that I picked out on etsy specifically for each of my boys), and then I had a 40% off coupon for the linen - so, doing the calculations, I think each pair of pants cost about $7 (with lots of the printed fabrics left over). Not too bad in my book! ;)

I don't yet know what the shirts have come to.... I for sure know they will be more than that.

It took me days to cut everything out, and another day to figure out the first pair of pants, but now that I have it figured out, I'm beginning to get them done assembly line style. ;) The pattern is from the book Growing up Sew Liberated. The shirt pattern I am using (none of the shirt material is pictured here) is also from Sew Liberated - their Woodlands Shirt.

I've also started making Easter/spring gifts... I've got quite a few little ones to make for, so I figured I needed to start soon, or I wont finish in time...

I've also got plans for knitted Easter eggs, and spring chicks.

That is, after I finish knitting the longies that I started for Cedar, and the new sweater that is 1/2 finished for Thorin. Oh my, yes we are busy creating.

I can't wait until Spring really does start to peek around the corner.

Tis time, whether Mother Nature likes it or not....

2012-02-23T12:59:00.000-06:00

Oh my the last few days have been hard on this mama.

Thorin is constantly "bored" and sick of winter. Even though this winter as been extremely abnormal in the amount of snow that we have gotten (so much so that many worry about drought this summer) and the temperatures have been well above average - about this time every year it just seems to drag on. Minnesota has two seasons, July, and winter. ;) I've nearly exhausted myself by thinking up things for him to do to stay busy... we both wait with bated breath every week for his Saturday morning swimming class.

And Cedar has just been all around crabby, clingy, and out-of-sorts. I'm not sure what is really bothering him - it's not his teeth, he doesn't have any signs of a cold, I think it has to be communication. He's wanting to communicate more than his mouth and body will allow. I should be thankful - Thorin was always in this state from birth to age two... but it's just not the norm for my quiet and content Cedar.

So, to try to counter this funk we are in - I decided it's time to start Spring cleaning. Obviously we can't do it all yet - windows wont be opening in this house anytime soon, and quilts wont come off of beds... But I did start by taking down all our winter artwork and projects - giving us a blank slate to clean everything up.

I scrubbed our dining room walls this morning, and the boys are *sort of* helping me find all the broken crayons in the basket - I foresee another batch of recycled crayons happening soon.

We emptied the book basket, and put in some spring books. It's slim pickin's for now - the boys have spring books coming to them in their easter/spring baskets. ;)

I'm also bringing some color back into the house.

Little things to make the days brighter, shorter, and feeling productive (even if I have a toddler crawling all over my lap as I attempt to knit, or a 4 year old asking for the 7,483 time when Saturday is.)

Ah yes. :)

Don't throw this Mama from the train...

2012-02-21T21:23:00.001-06:00

I just finished reading this book, Radical Homemakers, a few days ago. I had hemmed and hawed for some time over acquiring this one.... I'd put it in one of my carts while ordering books, then save it for later, and remove it entirely, only to save it for later once again. All the time I had it on my Paperbackswap wishlist, but so did hundreds of others. Sometimes its hard to know if you will like a book, if you can't flip through it. My local library network does not carry it.... The reviews online are also mixed, which is what had me questioning if I would enjoy this read. It seems to be either a "love it" or a "hate it" book.

But, I took a gamble on this one, and I wasn't disappointed. I would agree with some of the reviews, in that the title probably confused some people thinking it would be just about homemaking, or that it would be a "how-to" book... but I really think that a few of the reviewers (that I read anyways) missed the author's point. ;)

Anyways, I think it's a good read if you are already part of this movement. Yes, there is a movement happening - I'm right in the middle of it... maybe you are too. No one has thought to stake a name for this movement yet, and mainstream America hasn't taken notice, but it's there. (Soule Mama knows what I'm talking about - as her new magazine can attest to.)

The movement includes everyone that wants to get off the typical mainstream, conventional, corporate America train. We don't like the ride anymore, and so we are getting off at the next stop.

I feel like it includes anyone along this vast spectrum (even if other's don't think this book holds to that same view) - someone just picking better food options for their family, or someone that's gone off-grid. Just anyone wanting something different than what is readily available.

This book is less a "how-to" book, and more a book of encouragement, and validation. It's saying "hey, there are others like us out there, even if we can't see each other". I am less crazy seeming, because I'm not alone in my feelings, in my thoughts, and in my way of life. People of the movement are finding each other.

I also really enjoyed the tish about the history of the Industrial Revolution and the feminist movement that the author included - enough that I'll talk about it here. It's interesting to me, if we think about it, before the Industrial Revolution when men and women worked closer together homesteading or at home, there was a division of labor, but there wasn't as much of a distasteful inequality of men and women. Both men and women were considered important in the functioning of the household, and many times "jobs" were interchangeable. Boom! Industrial revolution happens, women stay home, men go off to work, women get sad and sick of being the only ones home doing everything (and buy a lot of crap with the hubby's money - think 1950s), and thus we women needed the feminist movement to regain equality and some sanity. I'm not trying to put rose-tinted glasses on to view the pre-Industrial Revolution world, nor am I saying the Industrial Revolution should never have happened (a lot of great inventions and advancements occurred during this time) I'm just saying its all good to ponder.

But what has the feminist movement also done? Sure, it's equaled us out a bit, but it's hard to deny that it's also supported more consumerism - we women left the home to work the same as men, but we are also now; leaving our children in daycares, preschools, and public schools that really aren't cutting it, we are all wasting away in front of screens while eating garbage, and we are spending our money filling our gigantic homes with crap that we can't clean around, we can't properly organize (at least not without buying things to organize it) and then renting storage facilities when our homes can't fit anything more. We are working outside of the home more than ever before, we make more money than ever before, and yet, we have more debt than ever before - does that make any sense at all?

Am I saying the feminist movement shouldn't have happened? Nope. But I am saying that I think we need to recognize that not everything good and shiny and happy and fluffy came from it. Am I saying that every mother should be a stay-at-home-mom? No way, that's up to your family to decide. Am I saying that everyone should quit their jobs and take up couch surfing? Probably not.... ;)

The real question to answer is, who told us to do this to ourselves? Corporate America. We need these things. We need to make more money. We need to live in gigantic homes. Don't we? Or, do we?

My husband and I do things a little differently - we don't live life like our neighbors - the Joneses. We don't have fancy new cars, or phones that do everything for you but tie your shoes. We don't indulge in frivolous things. We also don't have any debt (save for our student loans - which we pay extra on every chance we get), we aren't on welfare (because someone will ask), and we are not rich. We are just people, that want a different life than what we are told we need to have...

I guess I'm just wondering, what tiny thing (because any tiny thing can change your life) have you done to get off the train with me?

Let your life be a counter friction to stop the machine. - Thoreau

Still pondering...

2012-02-20T19:27:00.001-06:00

I'm sharing some older images from this here little blog today. Sometimes its good to reminisce.

I've been thinking so much lately about what goals to set for myself for this year (yes, I have been pondering them since before the new year began!). I mean, some of the minor goals we've already met (ie: find a new couch, and cut down my student loans) but it's so much harder to put into words specific goals to help a person accomplish a mindset or a lifestyle, or... a feeling.

The reading tent that I made Thorin and Cedar for Christmas 2010

I'm moving slowly. I know I want to make my body more healthy this year. Being a stay at home mama, my body comes last. I'm the last one to eat healthy, the last one to get enough rest, the last one to take care of myself. But I know those are all important things that need to be met. I am working on letting go of other things (like a clean shower, or non-sticky floor) to make room for better care of myself.

button flowers

I'd also like to inspire more people. I know that I do sometimes (people tell me so) but I would really like to be able to inspire others. Inspire them to create something they didn't think they could, inspire them to try something new, inspire them to make something instead of buying it. Just inspire.

the beginnings of some dresden plate place mats made long ago

I'd also like to learn some new things... I already have one major project in mind - soapmaking! It's probably going to take me a few months to gather my own equipment (limited budget and all) and teach myself what I need to know to begin. I've done it once with a friend before, but, well, that was over two years ago, and I'm afraid I don't much remember all of it.

Yes, things are moving in my mind - you know, in between teething toddlers, and homelearning, and cooking, and chores, and, and, and....

Oh it's a wonder mothers really get anything done! :)

A few decisions bubbling to the surface...

2012-02-16T14:07:00.001-06:00

Since last fall many of you, my readers, have probably noticed that I've been less frequent in my postings, and any posts that I have made, well, their content was lacking. I think I can finally explain...

I wasn't sure what I wanted to be doing here. I mean really, there are so many other great "bloggers" in the world - do I really need to jump on that train? Probably not.

Yet my desire to share, and to write a little something each day (even if it is worthless and subpar at best) just would not shut up. Nag nag nag - that desire is relentless. So I never "shut 'er down". But I didn't know what my direction was, or my purpose was being online here. I still don't really know, but I have gotten some hints here as of late.

I finished a pair of mittens for my sister's birthday gift. ;)

I have a few new projects coming up (in the form of writing) that I will share on here when the time comes. They were just sort of stumbled on, and fell into my lap. ;) Sometimes those are the best "happenings" to happen.

My dad sent me Valentine's Day flowers. My first, first love - my dad.

Which has really lead me into a total state of reflection - not just on this space, but on my direction in life. For a while now our family has been trying to do many things to promote health in our house. Health of our bodies, our environment, and our earth. It's been such a thrill for me to learn so many new things, and to put them into practice. But I didn't know what that meant for my life - I still don't really know. I've been in this "limbo" - wondering what goals I should set, how realistic are the abnormal dreams/whims I think would be enjoyable to accomplish?

I know that I want my own house (we are renters) but what does that mean? Does that mean a "farm"? Or in town with a big yard? Does that mean staying here, moving "back home", or even further from our families? I know that I want to be more self sufficient (there is always room for growth and improvement) but what does that mean? Off grid, or more community/bartering?

And then there's my husband. He has been supportive in all my crazy endeavors and antics in the name of health. ("Oh but honey! I must order my makeup online because I can't find anything in town that is as pure as I want, and you don't want me walking around with parabens on my face, do you?!" or "No, the boys cannot wear those shoes, they have far too much arch support.") Very supportive indeed... (It is good to laugh at ourselves once in awhile, yes?)

But...yes, there's a but; he and I don't always line up. I am nearly positive that he would be content to live exactly like we are today, for the rest of our lives. This isn't a bad thing, but I'm not like that. I am constantly striving for growth in myself, for learning new things, for changing my abilities. I want more out of life. Not to be confused by more stuff, no, I don't want more stuff. I want more life. More experiences, more knowledge.

Which all brings me to today and this blog. This isn't a place for me to "show off" (not that it ever was) but it is a place for me to track my growth, my experiences, and my goals. Yes, I am saying this to myself! :) It's my place to share... my place to reflect.

I'm still trying to etch out what my new goals are for life - but I know one for sure. There will be a lot more writing on here. I'm going to go back into writing. ;)

(For those of you that don't know, I used to be a pretty dern fine writer in my younger years - and even held a paid position at my local newspaper at the age of 18.)

The "right" color blue

2012-02-15T08:36:00.000-06:00

I thought I would join Ginny this week in a yarn along.

Remember when I finished Thorin's sweater, and he lovingly told me his favorite color was actually blue? (Yes, I should have guessed that...) Well, we went to our local yarn store last week and he picked out the "right" color blue, and I've gotten started on his "sweater that matches Bluebird" (Bluebird is his doll).

The yarn is Spud & Chloe Sweater in Splash. It's a superwash wool/organic cotton.

It's the very same pattern as his green sweater, so I think it will knit up fairly fast. My ravelry notes can be found here.

We've also recently stocked ourselves up with some new books - and some of them are actually even new! (We usually buy a lot of secondhand books) These are two that I'm really loving.

Living Simply with Children and Radical Homemakers.

Last night I spent a considerable amount of time up in my studio cutting fabric for pants and shirts for the boys. I'm really excited with the patterns I'll be using, and hope to share what I'm "makin'" soon.

Happy mid-February!

A pocket full of posies

2012-02-12T15:45:00.001-06:00

I do believe I have finished the wedding flowers! :) (About a month ago, a friend contacted me asking if I would be interested in making fabric flower bouquets for her friend's wedding day, and I said yes!)

And the bride has said she loves, loves, loves them (that's the most important part).

Making these was a good experience for me - my own wedding is so far removed from me right now, that it was fun to get to actually create something for one. I was married at 19 - and looking back at my wedding I think that it really reflected nothing of me. But I was young, and I suppose that is how it goes. You live and you learn as you go. I know much more about myself now than I did, but if my wedding were in the future, I think I would pick something like this for the flowers.

In the end, it's the life of the marriage, and not the wedding day that counts. ;) But I do certainly hope that I have been able to make one woman's wedding day just a little more fantastic.

And as for my marriage? This summer we will celebrate 10 years together, and 7 years of marriage. I suppose that says something. :)

Space on a shelf

2012-02-07T15:58:00.001-06:00

I caved.

For 3 1/2 years I've hunted for another bookshelf. Thrift stores, rummage sales, hoping to find one on the side of the road during clean-up week. I have come to believe that quality secondhand bookshelves don't exist here.

Today I caved. I bought a new bookshelf. It was on sale, but still.... I paid "on sale" retail price.

I don't know how to feel about that... but, I have a new bookshelf.

We decided it would be the science/natureish books - both adult books, and kids' books. And the nature area/table is now on top. Check that out! Space for books on a shelf?! Awesome!

And now I will probably find the perfect secondhand bookshelf - because it seems like that's how it always goes.

I finished up Cedar's sweater the other day too! I really love that blue.

Dabbling here and there

2012-02-01T09:11:00.001-06:00

I am so near finishing Cedar's sweater - and happy that I have gotten this far since I started it. I am still working on the fabric flower bouquets for a wedding - which have taken a lot of my time away from knitting and sewing. But when I am done, oh boy, do I have big plans! On deck are some new "spring" pants for the boys, and a *late* birthday gift for my sister (sorry sister!) who turns 18 today!

Last night I did manage to finish up a simple and easy knitted crown, and some hair-ties made from fabric covered buttons that I made - for a birthday party that we were all invited to this coming weekend. Hopefully the little girl enjoys them.

Can you believe it's already February?!

Growing Fabric Flowers...

2012-01-25T16:28:00.001-06:00

Hello! Oh I really need to update this space more often, don't I?

We have been busy lately - well, ok, I have been busy lately. A few weeks ago a friend contacted me wondering if I would make *fabric flower bouquets* for one of her friends' wedding. Um, playing in fabric? Of course!

Her wedding is the 18th of February, so I've been working hard all this week to really crank these flowers out so I can get to assembling the bouquets with ample time before the big day. The last two days I've made about a dozen flowers - between my "free times" of nap time and after the boys go to sleep for the night.

I am so exited to start forming the bouquets, and see my work come together.

We also have real snow now. And some not-so-real, but beautiful indoor snow too.

I can't believe it's almost February!

An old RED sofa

2012-01-22T12:49:00.001-06:00

Big news in our living room...

We found a lovely vintage orangish-red sofa.

She has come to join our fleet of yesteryear possessions.

Last night she got a good scrub-down with bronners, and her mattress (yep, she's a hide-a-bed) is coated in baking soda. She still has a faint odor of granny's basement - or maybe your great uncle Herbert's attic, but she is seeing the light of day once more!

I've also begun Cedar's sweater - isn't that blue delicious?!

Swimming and a rabbit in January?!

2012-01-09T13:31:00.001-06:00

There are many times that I wonder what strangers think of our little family.

Saturday was Thorin's first swimming lesson!

(We do live in the land of 10,000 lakes. Learning to properly swim is a must.)

We showed up, just a boy and his mama - Thorin was wearing his "fancy green shoes", a toggle coat, and his green mama-made beanie, and I in my layers - jersey pants, self-made jersey skirt, long-john shirt under my faded Jefferson Airplane t-shirt....

We registered, got Thorin in his trunks, and I, for the first time in my life, took my place among the parents in the bleachers. I however, was the only one to whip out a rather large camera, take exactly 27 pictures of my son, before putting the camera away - only to drag out my knitting.

Yes, what do they think of us?

Thorin asking "now what?!" after getting his trunks on.

And there I sat, one eye on the water (you know, in case I had to jump in to rescue a child) and one eye on my yarn.

While the other parents were on their cell phones, or texting, I sat, watching my child do an activity without me - watched him break a little of that baby-bond with me, just ever so slightly, and knitting. It was bittersweet, and I'll remember it forever. Thorin waved at me nine times in the 1/2 hour lesson - yes, he's a big boy now, doing big boy things, but it warms my heart, knowing that he needs to make sure I'm still there, watching him.

What's that? What am I knitting now? Well a pair of mittens for myself, of course! (Except that it's currently near 50*F today - bah!) And yes, if those look familiar, it's because they are Bella's mittens from the Twilight movies. (Remember, I am a fan?) Friday night I went with a friend to attend a knitting group, where I learned, not only how to do the 'magic loop', but also how to cable knit! The original plan was to have my friend knit these for me (I was totally intimidated by the cable knitting) but after she saw my sweater, and how fast I was able to learn to knit in the round and complete it, she said I was capable of knitting my own mittens.

I, however, wasn't as confident, and even, maybe, might have, tried to convince her that she was a tish crazy for thinking I could do it. But, she was right, and I'm still amazed that I've made this mitten myself. :)

As for now, I've got bread ready to be taken out, so I'll leave you with these pictures of our backyard bunny.

Yes, it is January in these pictures.

In a sweater fully knit...

2012-01-07T13:24:00.001-06:00

Finished my first sweater a few days ago.

Thorin informed me that it was a "good 'needled' sweater" but that his favorite color is actually blue. :S

Back to the needles I go!

A new year

2012-01-03T23:48:00.002-06:00

I'm joining up with Ginny this week in her yarn along. Haven't done that in awhile! ;)

I am just about finished with my very first sweater. It's for Thorin, and has been much easier than I thought it would be. I might just consider myself a knitter after all. ;)

*edit* I always forget to mention what yarn I've used. It's Dream in Color Yarn - Classy. And the color is "Spring Tickle" which totally makes me smile. I also have their Aqua Jet - which I'm planning to use for a sweater for my younger son.

And of course I'm reading...

right now I'm flipping back and forth in The Happiness Project - re-evaluating myself and my surroundings, my goals and ambitions for this year. This book was the one that really got me started on all my changes last year. Here's to hoping 2012 is as productive, if not more so than 2011.

I also "discovered" fabric button making supplies. Can you guess what my new addiction is? Can you guess what any and all projects will have a "touch" of in the near future? Buttons.

We are back into routines here - made some "wood butter" - and now all my spoons are lookin' pretty fine.

We have new toys to play with...

New toys to play...

And just new toys...

(oh isn't she just bea-u-t-iful?)

And lots of dreaming, thinking, wondering, some planning....

Yes, I do believe 2012 is off to a good start. :D

~ K

Winter just might be here...

2012-01-03T09:16:00.001-06:00

He is learning to skate! :)

We are well and loving that winter has started.

Weirdness, Busyness

2011-12-15T14:07:00.001-06:00

We've reached our busy time of year! I feel like I've been going non-stop with everything life brings us, and the lack of snow is really allowing more of everything to occur. My mother just celebrated her 50th birthday, and couldn't remember a birthday without snow! I see there is something predicted for tomorrow, but who knows if it will actually show up.

I really don't care for snow and cold very much (though I deal with it being a native Minnesotan) but this not having snow in December, is very weird. It just does not seem right - I joke that it's effecting my psyche.

What have we been up to?

Oh, there's knitting (just one last project to finish up!), a few presents to wrap, goodies to bake, and Christmas dinner to plan. We've had lots of friends come to visit us, and have gone to visit friends ourselves. There have been presents left on our doorstep, and "goodie plates" from friends. We've had a photo-shoot, and all of the "normal" everyday things. And ....

Lots of packages to mail.

One trip to the post office on Monday afternoon.

Thorin had his very first Christmas play last Sunday. He was the ram, and did very well for his four year old self! ;) Sure made this mama proud!

Mama made Ram horns.

Kyle finished up Thorin's shield (a Christmas gift) a few days ago. He decided to paint it in a wash.

Kyle tooled the leather straps himself.

And this little man, turned 18 months old yesterday. I can't believe how the time has fluttered away with him. Wasn't he just born? Didn't we just celebrate his first birthday, and wonder where the year went?

Cedar wearing his big brother's new Viking hat made by a dear friend.

Yes, lots of things happening, things that deplete my energy. But it is good to stay busy while we can. Soon I know, for it always comes, snow will be here - and will be here in an abundance. Then we will be longing for friends to come and things to do, and will go nearly insane being cooped up in the house. And just days before we really go insane - spring will show herself. And all will be right with the world again. ;)

A little boy turns four...

2011-12-06T10:46:00.001-06:00

Turning four is pretty special. Turing four on the fourth is even better. Turning four on the fourth in our family... the best.

We celebrated Thorin's golden birthday (for turning four on the fourth) on Sunday! Friends and family gathered at our house to show the little man some love, and celebrate that he has been with us all for four years now! He's a very loved little boy.

Months ago Thorin requested a farm cake. So, not wanting to have to build one out of layers of cake (oh yes, we've done a car cake that way) I came up with the idea of using a gingerbread house to make the barn shape - and found the idea for the cupcakes on the internet.

I hope I don't sound like I believe a birthday is all about presents when I say this, but all of Thorin's presents were amazing to me - in that people really do love and care for my little guy. I know this because of the thought that went into each gift - and how each gift was completely perfect for him. He loved them all, and I know for a fact that he felt so much love.

A movie he's been wanting for a long time.

Knitted superhero gloves.

Lots of great books.

Binoculars.

(This little princess is Thorin's life-long friend Ella. They are only a few months apart, and have gotten along like two peas in a pod their entire lives)

Ice skates! Thorin is very excited to go skating for the first time.

He also got a keyboard (he has requested to learn to play the "pinano"), art supplies, and some other really great things.

We take care of all of Thorin's basic needs, and we do it well. But it means a whole lot to me when our close friends and family join to celebrate our children's lives - and know them so well as to be able to know just what their little hearts long for, what would bring them joy, what would bring them hours of fun. No, it's not about getting presents. Material things in life fade. But I know one little boy that went to bed with a giant smile, claiming he had just had "the best birthday ever!" He played with his friends, shared cake with them, and blushed when they sang to him.

And today, when he's playing on the keyboard he proudly says "Uncle Josh got this for me". Or when he is wearing his superhero gloves - he is planning the next time that he and Connor can play superhero together. He asks when we will see Nana next, because he wants to watch his new movie with her, and he is now waiting for our trip to visit Ella and her family, and at this very moment begging me to open the finger paints that they gave him.

Happy Birthday to my Thorin. You have a whole lot of people that love you - and why wouldn't we? You are a great boy.

Deck the halls

2011-11-30T11:46:00.001-06:00

Christmas is still slowly trickling into our home. Oh I just love this season so much.

Monday night my in-laws invited us to a "Winter Wonderland" celebration. So our family drove out into the "country" to take part. They had a Santa for the kids, raffles/drawings, horse drawn wagon rides (couldn't do the sleigh, as we don't have ANY snow yet!!) and goodie bags. It turned out to be an alright night, but, of course, the children, especially Cedar, were overwhelmed by the crowds of people. Cedar's confusion manifested itself with him continuously running after the horse wagon as it drove away, and then crying when we carried him back to where we were. We got a few of those "Can't you control your children?!" stares. Which I absolutely love by the way.

I don't blame him - what was being expected of his 17 month old self? To stand quietly while in a crowd of excited strangers, and just look at the Clydesdales?

Thorin too was exposed to new things.... we've never "done" Santa in our house - We just didn't really think it was necessary. My parents always did Santa, and still do (Mom says "if you don't believe, he'll stop coming to our house!") and so he has been exposed to the idea of Santa. And of course, we don't live in a void - so he has seen Christmas movies... This year though, he asked about Santa coming to our house, and we decided to tell him the true story of Santa - but, being the imaginative boy he is, he didn't believe us. :) He specifically told us that we were mistaken, and that Santa was real.

(Insert new dilemma here.)

Anyway, he found out Santa was going to be there, and Thorin was very sure he wanted to talk to him. However, when the opportunity came - this is what happened:

Yep. Figured it would! I know, Santa is a little strange to me too kids. :D (That, by the way, is a fake frown - but definitely Thorin in his shy/embarrassed state.)

The wagon ride was a much better hit for Thorin:

Cedar however wanted to get out of the wagon to pet the horses. ug.

Moving on:

Thorin has been helping me to make festive things:

Clay ornaments - we found the idea here.

Making some of our pinecones into Christmas trees for the gnomes.

And even though we don't have snow outside (It is really rather strange to not have snow, as a normal year would more than likely consist of snow for Halloween) we decided to make the nature table over for winter. It was nice clearing everything off, cleaning it, and starting fresh.

I made a little mini-bunting of "snowflakes". :)

And Thorin painted "snowflakes" by dipping an evergreen branch in paint and using it to stamp.

And I finally got around to finishing up Thorin's knight costume! Not pictured is the "chain-mail" hood that matches the "chain-mail" sleeves. (I actually rushed to take this picture while Thorin was in the area - it was pure luck that he didn't see it) I'm satisfied with the way it turned out - I just hope it is hefty enough to withstand the use the two boys will give it. :)

And what are you doing to bring the season into your home?

2011-11-27T15:32:00.000-06:00

It is the season of Advent. Our home has begun to show our preparations for Christmas.

Today at lunch we lit the first candle on our advent candle holder (which Kyle made me this year).

We have our tree up already (as per request by Thorin - who helped me decorate the whole thing, and made sure I "did it right", whatever "right" may be). I will take a picture of it some other time.

Our Advent calendar is in place - ready for our countdown. It was made by my mother-in-law last year, and consists of brown paper tags with the dates stamped on them, clothes pinned to a piece of bakers twine with mini-clothes pins.

We are still busy working on Christmas presents. Somedays I think we are "ahead of the game", but then other days I look at how much knitting I have left, or how much sewing I have left, and I wonder if my hands really can work as fast as I am wanting them too. I worry if one of the kids get sick (quite plausible in this season) - and my leisure working time is consumed by children - will I finish in time?!

I suppose many people would just go out and buy something then. But that's not really us. First, we don't have a lot of extra money laying around to just go buy something. But second, what would a store bought item say to the recipient? Does the store bought scarf say "I love you" more than a handmade one, because it cost more money?

Alas, I digress.

This is Thorin's shield made out of pallet wood. We have some more sanding and wood-burning to do on it, and Kyle also has yet to attach the leather handles... I think it's coming together alright.

As I write, Kyle is in the garage carving a small dagger out of wood for the boys.

But before all of our Christmas rituals, rhythms, traditions really get into full swing, we have a very special birthday party to enjoy.

In a week our eldest son, Thorin, will be turning four on the 4th - his golden birthday.

I spent a lot of time thinking about and gathering his gifts for this year. I wanted them to be beautiful, useful, efficient, and things that he would love.

I have had them all for awhile now - tucked away. Just some art supplies; some stockmar block crayons, a new water color set, new brushes, and water color paper. A wooden boat, and the book Mother Earth and Her Children. We have also decided to give Thorin a special gift after his party - just between the three of us. We wanted to give an extra gift because this is his golden birthday. Our immediate thought was something that would gear him toward manhood - a swiss army knife. BUT, he's only four, and so the knife will wait. Instead, we figured a good compromise would be a fancy new flashlight - and thus he would be the flashlight bearer for our family. I think he's going to love it.

So, for now, we are enjoying the new energy the Advent season brings to our house, but are really trying to focus on a little boy's birthday first. My great grandmother (grandfather's mother) was born on Christmas Eve, and her whole life no one ever made her a birthday cake. That is, until my grandmother held Christmas dinner at their house. That year my grandma made great-grandma a birthday cake along side all of the regular Christmas goodies. Great grandma cried at the love and consideration my grandmother had given her.

Thorin's birthday is close to Christmas. And everywhere we look, we can see Christmas taking over - it is an important holiday (you know, minus the materialism that flourishes). But I am very certain that Christ would want us to give Thorin all our love and consideration - which is why we still have separate birthday gifts for him. Some years it's hard pulling it off - double the gifts for him, but we always find a way to make his birthday stand out from the Christmas season.

I still can't believe he's going to be four.

2011-11-23T13:24:00.000-06:00

i am thankful for my sons.

thankful for the wonderful, smart, unique people they are.

i am thankful that even though we don't have much extra income, we always seem to have

exactly what we need... and even quite a few of our wants.

i am thankful for the simple things in life.

i am thankful for our amazingly good health.

thankful for only the sniffles, coughs, mild fevers. thankful that there has never been anything more.

i am thankful that i get to stay at home with my children.

thankful even when i want to run away screaming - because it is my choice to stay with them.

i am thankful that i can read.

and thankful for the many books that fill our home.

i am thankful that we always have some sort of food in the house.

and thankful that much of that is homegrown food.

i am thankful that i met and married my best friend.

and thankful that we've made it this far (6 years).

i am thankful for the warm house we live in.

thankful for...

i am thankful.

2011-11-19T09:01:00.000-06:00

I saw Breaking Dawn last night with my mother and sister.

My sister is eight years younger than me, so it was almost like three generations of women going to swoon over shiny vampires. (Which, for our family, isn't abnormal at all) Mom did say she married dad because he looked like Kiefer Sutherland (and Travis Tritt, but that's a different storyline).

(And that was reference to The Lost Boys movie).

My sister and I laughed the hardest (and probably annoyingly so) at all the scenes with Charlie Swan - our father is also a no nonsense cop - who may or may not have threatened our boyfriends with guns. :) We understand the embarrassment on a different level.

I'm trying to find an excuse to go again today.... but it might seem a little lame for a grown mother of two, to go to a teenage vampire movie by herself... and I can't find anyone to take me.

My husband shakes his head.... but he just doesn't understand the vamp love.

It was a good time, sharing my vamp love with my sister and mom.

2011-11-17T12:02:00.000-06:00

It is in the quiet hours of the night, once my boys are asleep, that I seem to get the little things done.

The pile of things to mend grew too large, and Cedar was in need of some longer longies. I had been putting it all off in favor of knitting and reading, but last night I finally felt happy to attend to the pile. It helped that I was up in "the studio" (or whatever you want to call the place with all our craft supplies, the sewing and felting machines, and our computer) cutting out Christmas tags on the Cricut anyways.

There is something about the sounds of a sewing machine, or the repetition of knitting that really mends my inner self. I love my boys to "the sky, and back down again" but they sure are exhausting more often than not. I do not know where they find their constant energy.

As I write this Thorin has found a pirate hat, and is using a hanger - pretending he is Captain Hook (his new favorite thing is Peter Pan). Cedar is stacking a few blocks, and knocking them down repeatedly....

But I continue on...

With the household chores, with the life lessons, with the hugs, and the games. Once in awhile stealing a moment to myself, to sit quietly reading and drinking tea, to have a hot shower, uninterrupted, or to take a rare nap (when both boys are napping too of course). Just working on the little things.

Some of my mending, and new longies for Cedar.

2011-11-16T17:36:00.000-06:00

Women be swappin'!!

You all know I love a good barter/trade.

It's true. I do. The words that author Kristin Kimball wrote in her book The Dirty Life, about her husband wanting a bartering society, where after a while no one keeps track of the value of trades or anything like that - well, that's the utopia I live for and dream about.

I recently made a new friend on a Facebook trading page. She had some cloth diapers for sale, and I was going to buy them from her - one thing led to another, and she requested instead that I sew the capes and some crowns for her boys.

I had them all ready for her - just waiting until our next meeting.

But then I posted some toy trains for sale on the same site - she thought they would be wonderful for her son's birthday, and was set to buy them from me.

But then I saw that she was doing a group buy for a co-op site she owns, and I was interested in that.... can you guess where this is leading????

She is now taking the money she owes me for the trains, and is applying it to my "bill" for my order.

Did I say how I love a good trade? :)

Today there were four of us that took up a little corner of a parking lot - swapping. It's in those moments, when I see community, kindness, bartering - that my perspective of humanity leans more towards the good side.

What are you doing in your community?

2011-11-14T09:53:00.001-06:00

It's beginning to look a lot like... winter.

Yes, I started decorating with my "Christmas" decorations. However, I will say, my decorations are more winter-y, than Christmas. The tree and the nativity will come out later - probably right after Advent begins.

These glass ornaments were my great-grandmothers. I love their vintage-y goodness, but because they were hers, they are even more special to me. I added some epsom salt to the bottom of the vase to look like snow. ;)

New this year is a family jar. I found the idea here. I just typed up different family activities for us to do together... sometimes its easy to get caught up in all the business of this season - all the family events, and Christmas present making/buying. And I thought this would be a great way to stop, slow down, and enjoy this season for what it is!

Some of our activities include ice skating, making a snowman, reading a new Christmas/winter book, baking cookies, or -

Having lunch together at a restaurant.

I also went ahead and decorated my "mantel". I feel like I might leave most of it up all winter. And, if you couldn't tell, I'm in love with deer now. Yes, I did have that owl phase, and I still have all of my owls... but deer - I don't know. They are up there! So.... regal.

One of the things on the mantel - it's hard to see - is one of the jars that I had some fun with. I found the idea here. I really just painted glue on the jars, and rolled them in epsom salt. I didn't add coloring like the tutorial (I think they look just as great without it) and I didn't seal it with clear sealer either - that way when I'm done, I can just soak the salt and glue off, and reuse my jars! They look really pretty and "icy" when a lit candle is in them!

And finally - I'm working hard on getting this knight costume finished. I sewed a bunch yesterday during nap/rest time, and again last night after Thorin had gone to bed - I don't think he would notice too much (he usually doesn't pay attention to what I'm working on) but he is old enough now that I feel the need to hide his gifts a little better than just placing them on a higher shelf! ;)

It's coming together pretty well - I still have the "chain-mail" hood to sew, and an applique to hand stitch to the front - I'm hoping to finish it in the next couple of days, and get it wrapped up.

No snow here yet - I can't remember the last time that snow was this late for us. It feels so strange that Thanksgiving is next week, and we don't have snow! Thorin is asking about it - when he can put on his boots and stomp in the snow. :)

Any snow where you are?

**edit: I spoke too soon! There are snowflakes flying as we speak! Winter is here!**

2011-11-10T20:56:00.000-06:00

Just call me the cape lady.

I know I've shown you this picture before.

The original two capes.

Those are my boys' first capes. I made the blue one first - for Thorin when he was about 6 months old, and the green one for Cedar before he was even born. I didn't follow any pattern, just cut some pieces, and figured it out on my own. I am sure there are probably simpler capes out there... but this is how mine formed for me. These original two had tassels - in replication of the cape that Thorin Oakenshield (the dwarf king from the Hobbit) wore.

Some time later, a friend saw my capes, and requested I make two for her children in exchange for wool roving. Thus I made another one in the original size (my first for a girl!) and one a couple of sizes larger.

The first "girl" cape.

When she requested one for her 4T son I took one of my originals, and just added length, and made the hood part bigger. I also realized that Thorin's original cape was way too small for him. ;)

Thorin modeling the first larger sized cape that I made.

And so I made Thorin a new blue one. This time I haven't been able to find a good tassel for the hood, and haven't felt confident to make one, so it remains without.

Thorin's second blue cape (without tassel this time)

And most recently, I had another request to make two more capes in exchange for some cloth diapers. One in the original size (about 2T) and one in a larger size (the 4T).

The one thing they all have in common are the clasps. They all have the same silver metal swirly clasps. :)

2011-11-07T13:21:00.000-06:00

Christmas. I love it.

I'm still working hard on gifts, unfortunately there are a lot that I can't share - in case the recipients were to visit. Most of my family doesn't read my blog (they don't spend too much time on computers) but occasionally someone will stop by. ;)

I can share some projects that I've made for myself!

I haven't ever had a good solution for our Christmas cards - my family always stuck them in the door frames of their houses. But they were always old houses, and there were gaps between the wood and plaster allowing that. Kyle and I have always lived in newer places, and haven't been able to do that.

Martha Stewart to the rescue!

Those are some cards from previous years. I love it. A lot.

I also found a perfect wreath to go with the yarn wrapped letter I made previously. It was at Michaels - perfect for "nesting" the letter right in there. I wired in a little "sprig" of fake holiday-ness, and voila! Plain, cheery, not soooo fake looking that you can smell the plastic, but able to be reused for years to come.

I've also been making up some birthday decor. Thorin is turning 4 on the 4th of December. Wonderfully enough, his decor this year also looks pretty fall/Thanksgivingish. So I've been leaving some of it out as I make it. Here are some burlap flowers (made the same way as fabric flowers - but with hot glue).

I can't believe my baby is going to be 4.

2011-11-03T10:42:00.000-05:00

Thorin Sage and Cedar Thalion

You are restless. Loud, destructive. You run circles around me. The carpet is constantly a mess, the house in disarray. My days are filled with cars, knights, trains, dragons, helmets, and swords and there is always something sharp at the bottom of the stairs. My table is always sticky, and something is always broken. We've had burns, bruises and stitches - always with me shedding the most tears. Pink does not exist in our house. You loose my place in my books, and get into my knitting. And I'm so sick of eating pizza - I could probably go the rest of my life without touching it.

But...

You are what I am most thankful, most grateful for.

2011-11-01T14:36:00.000-05:00

Our Seasonal Book Basket

We keep a basket of seasonal books. It gets rotated with whatever happens to be going on - there were a few Halloween books in there this week, and now that Halloween has come and gone, they will go in the storage drawer (an old drawer sitting on top of the bookshelf that holds the rest of our seasonal books when they aren't in the basket). It's full of autumn books - sadly though, not really any Thanksgiving specific books, as I haven't really found any I like (any suggestions?). Some of these will start to be rotated out, as our first snow grows nearer. It could happen any time now... and is predicted for Sunday.

The Year at Maple Hill Farm

Four Stories Four Seasons

Strega Nona's Harvest

The First Strawberries

The Legend of the Indian Paintbrush

Pumpkin Pumpkin

Autumn Days

Autumn

Flower Fairies of the Autumn

I am excited about the Christmas books to drag out! Some of them are very old, and I enjoy sharing them with my boys. I will have to remember to make another list then.

We are entering my favorite time of year - and it's not because of the weather, no, I HATE snow. Growing up my family always did everything together. Every weekend, my entire extended family was together doing something. Our activities weren't always popular choices (mud runs, sucker spearing, deer hunting etc) but, I remember a lot of fun being had. My mother would dress me for the occasion, and off I would go, in some uncle's Jeep, or on grandpa's ATV - off on some adventure.

And sometimes I really, really.... really miss that.

In our family Thanksgiving and Christmas weren't separate, not really anyways. We are Germans, big hearty eaters - from Halloween through the end of January - we'd just hunker down together, and eat.

We all talk long, fast, loud, and a lot - the women in my family laugh like a combination of chickens clucking and witches shrieking (myself included)... you could probably pick out which house we were in from miles around.

But, we value our time together. When someone from our family is missing, well, we get downright mad/annoyed. "How dare they not come! Don't they know we are having hamburger gravy, mashed potatoes, spare ribs, corn, and squash?! What's so important that they aren't here?!"

We aren't one of those families that spends hours and hours searching for the "right gift" only to spend an hour with family on Christmas day.... We have been known to pick up a gift at the gas-station on the corner 20 minutes before arriving, and not leave for days.

Thanksgiving-Christmas is my time. The time that I feel warmest inside. I love making gifts for others, I love the warm, heavy foods. Being snowed in (it's happened on Christmas the last three years!) The look of the kids' faces when they get new things. The music, the lights, the reverence. Getting cleaned up, and dressed in your best. How, even if just for Christmas day, the mad dash of life slows down for almost everyone. How, you can't find a store open, just for the cranberries. How, the snow crunches loud underfoot, because the traffic has slowed, or become nonexistent. How, you are with family.

This is my time.

2011-10-31T20:27:00.003-05:00

Happy Halloween!

A really bad picture, and a very messy van at this point - but here was our "van-pire" for the Trunk or Treat we participated in (it was already dark when I took this). There were also games, hotdogs, hot apple cider, and horse drawn hayrides! It was a lot of fun!

My wizard. (Taken once we got home from the festivities).

And my dragon - nearly passed out in a sugar coma. We don't normally give the kids lots of candy-sugary-goodness, but in all the excitement of the festivities, I think Cedar ended up having two suckers - in-between his popcorn and candy bar. (As you can see he was still finishing one up here...)

Here are the wings that I made for him - simple felt, stuffed and then I used embroidery thread to add some definition.

We gave away far more candy than we received, and this, this is a good thing.

And me... well, I went as a vintage housewife.

2011-10-27T23:18:00.000-05:00

It's been six months in the making...

My hubby has bottled his mead.

It's made from organic honey from my grandparents' farm, and sealed with that bartered beeswax of ours. Don't they look awesomely primitive?!

2011-10-27T14:31:00.002-05:00

Another Handmade Christmas post - because next Monday is Halloween, and I don't plan on being near a computer. ;)

I made some new little snow gnomes, and some trees - the boys saw me making them, but I'm going to put them away until the first snow (which, could you believe might very well be soon), and then surprise the boys by having them out with some white felt, and maybe wool roving, and we can just play with them. Our fall is so short here - and our winter season so long.

The little ones' hats are a bit funny looking, I might have to scrap them and make a couple of bigger ones.

I also cleaned up the garage today, and the light was good, so I snapped a picture of what Kyle has been working on for the boys.

Cedar is getting a chest made from pallets.

(For Thorin's second Christmas he got a daddy made chest - so we thought Cedar should have the same.)

And Thorin will be getting a shield and sword. The shield is also made from pallet wood. I don't know Kyle's plans for a sword yet - we were debating on allowing a wood one, since the boys like to rough-house... we thought a fabric/foam one might be safer for now.

Kyle still has some cutting and sanding to do, and then I said that I would cover the screws with wooden knobs - and do some wood burning on the shield - maybe "engrave" something on it for Thorin and his namesake. We also have to pick out some handles for Cedar's chest.

I am sewing Thorin a tunic to go along with his sword and shield.

I haven't yet thought of a fun thing for Cedar - he doesn't seem to need much, what being the second boy and all.

Any ideas for what we could make him?

And what are you doing for Christmas?

2011-10-26T22:57:00.001-05:00

‎"All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up." - Pablo Picasso

Hello my famb-ly, friends, acquaintances, strangers...

For a few weeks now I have been struggling with this whole internet blog thing. I mean, my mother doesn't even own a cell phone, and holds that she never will. We didn't have a family computer until I was 16... and even then it was dialup (insert beeeeeduurrrblingggg of dialup tones here) - I was raised in a slight technological void. It's nearly against my nature to share myself in this way. And yet, for a lot of reasons, I have chosen to do so.

And, sometimes it weirds me out that I don't know each and every one of you fluttering over my typed words. Am I ok with what I share? Are little chunks of my soul slipping away with each click on my site address?? Yes, I could not blog, I could restrict my blog.... but, I also feel urged to continue to share.

So, I've looked over everything, changed a few little things here and there to more firmly establish my privacy, deleted a few posts that I just didn't enjoy, and voila!

Return of happy Kristin.

It's not like I was advertising my home address, or our social security numbers on here or anything... its not even that I'm worried what you think of me - its more, just that I need to remind myself to save some things for me. And for those closest to me.

I also want to remind you, that what you see here isn't 100% me. It's just a little tiny virtual chunk. Now, I'm honest with you - I would never lie, bend the truth, or omit anything. It's just that I live a lot of life away from this computer. I hope that you would too.

Hebrews 13:16

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

2011-10-24T13:57:00.001-05:00

I'm afraid I just have one picture today showing our progress on our Handmade Christmas.

Another (skinny) scarf with removable fabric flowers done. And a yarn wrapped letter - that I plan on placing in the middle of our door wreath. I found the idea here.

I'm very excited to reveal what my hubby (Kyle) has been working on for the boys - but am waiting for a good picture to do so (our garage has horrible lighting).

Only 61 days until Christmas. Will my elvish hands finish the tasks before me?

I sure hope so... I love making things for my family.

2011-10-22T10:05:00.000-05:00

My Handmade Holidays:

Christmas photos done our way....

This was my ode to Dottie Angel.

We came, we smiled, we conquered....

2011-10-21T11:54:00.001-05:00

I am:

Remembering that gnomes like autumn too (Mini pumpkin tutorial here)...

Hanging up some of our gratitude leaves... (we found the idea here)

Still admiring my hubby's handiwork... (our new curtain rod)

Mending with love... (boys are soo rough on furniture!)

And finding the littlest treasures...

My hands have not stopped working this week. There are warm things to knit, a birthday to plan, Christmas to make, and bread to bake. Songs to be sung, and diapers to be hung. Learning to be taught, and teaching to learn.

These are the exhausting (but oh so full of love and life) years of my life.

I need to go live some more.

2011-10-19T21:12:00.002-05:00

I suppose that now is as great a time as ever to tell you my story. The one that I am not afraid to talk to anyone about, but the one that most people don't want to hear.

The five year "anniversary" of my first miscarriage is on Monday.

The following is an unfinished portion of a very small memoir.

The Confessions of a Rambling Housewife

Prologue:

Yes, my life was straight out of a f***ing 1950's advertisement for Tupperware. The one where the housewife is standing against a counter in her spotless “modern” kitchen, gesturing Wheel of Fortune style towards a sea-foam green Tupperware container, whilst her family sits at the table with plastered smiles on their faces, a pan of meatloaf in front of them, and Skippy, the dog, waiting for a handout under the table. The corner says something like “Tupperware - the housewife's demand for efficiency, economy, and the woman's demand for beauty”. As if that single piece of Tupperware made all the difference in that woman's life, as if it made her life worth living. It didn't make one bit of difference in mine.

Chapter 12:

My first pregnancy is now, at times, somewhat of a blur. I only remember fragments of it, that I journaled, and then the craziness afterwards. We tried for three months to get pregnant and when that test finally popped up positive I was, naturally, scared shitless. Scared about being pregnant, scared about being responsible for someone other than myself, and scared about telling my parents.... (excerpt removed for condensing purposes)

Once the initial shock wore off, and we had told our parents, excitement took over and we plunged head first into preparations for the new bundle of joy to come. We, of course, told everyone that we were expecting. Being thrifty as I was I jumped at a chance and bought a crib, changing table, bassinet, and travel system off of our neighbors for a mere hundred and forty dollars. I made the crib bedding set myself. We bought some gender-neutral clothes - all within about two weeks time.

But then the bleeding started. I started spotting one morning and immediately called my doctor's nurse to ask what I should do. You don’t bleed when you are pregnant right?! I knew that much from health class. She wasn't really much help, and notified me that my doctor would not see me until I was twelve weeks along. The nurse suggested that I refrain from sex, lie on my left side, and drink plenty of water. I was never even told what to look for or to expect in the instance of a miscarriage. I felt so alone. I wasn't even on prenatal vitamins at this point.

Looking back now, I should have reported my doctor for malpractice or something because I bled for almost two months before she would see me. She kept giving me the run around...I kept bleeding. I went to two different “walk-in clinic” doctors, seeking other opinions, seeking for someone to help me. The first time they checked me over, and found everything to look fine, and ordered a blood test. They found that my HCG levels were low, but only ordered another test to be done three days later. That test said my levels were fine, so no one did anything more.

But I kept bleeding. My mother worried about me becoming anemic. So I called my doctor's office, and again was denied seeing her, and again went into the walk-in clinic. This time the doctor checked me, and said my cervix was slightly opened, but that it wasn't immediately something to worry about, and so she ordered an ultrasound and another blood test.

We went to the ultrasound and joked around with the ultrasound technician, saying that we hoped there would only be one baby, as Kyle's grandfather was a twin. The ultrasound revealed a healthy baby, and an empty sac. I was pregnant with twins, but unbeknown to me, I had already miscarried one. I was severely uneducated about pregnancy - and had no one explaining anything. I was shocked, but in a weird way relieved. I knew that at this point in my life I wouldn't have been able to care for twins, and now there was something to explain the bleeding. I still had one healthy looking baby. The doctor said that I would probably stop bleeding in the next few days, and that I should take it easy. She also said that she would fax the results of the blood tests and ultrasound to my actual doctor, and that my doctor should be getting back to me the next day to set up an appointment to see her, since she needed to know all that was going on.

So, that night I resolved to be all right with the loss of one child, and hoped that the bleeding would soon stop and my remaining child would grow healthy and strong.

My doctor never contacted me, and no appointment was set up with her.

A few days after that the bleeding stopped. But only for three days. It started again, and I eventually lost my second baby.

It was October, and Kyle was working the night that it happened. The day before I had started bleeding more profusely, and thus that night my emotions had finally caught up with me. I knew something was just not right - that things should not be going like they were... I did nothing but pray that night. Pray, plead, beg with God to spare my remaining child. To heal whatever was wrong.

That night my second child passed from my body, and I flushed that underdeveloped child down the toilet. Somehow, for some reason, I denied this within myself. I ignored it. I went to sleep.

Two days later, I went back to the clinic because the bleeding had still not let up, and saw the same doctor that had helped me before. She ordered an immediate ultrasound and demanded that my actual doctor see me. My doctor, finally, saw me. I'd never even met the lady before the day she told me that I wasn't pregnant anymore.

A good way to know when something is wrong is if the ultrasound tech turns the monitor away from you. I, being in denial and "seeing" a baby on the screen (even though I had clearly witnessed my own miscarriage two days before), asked her if everything was okay, and she said that she “didn't have the authority to discuss that with me, but that my doctor would discuss everything with me in a minute.”

After the ultrasound we were led into the exam room where the doctor met us, and broke the bad news. “I'm sorry Mrs.” She looks down at the chart in her hands. “(insert last name here), but it seems that your pregnancy was naturally terminated, and you no longer carry a fetus”. She was so cold in her delivery, and spoke so calmly that I had to ask her to repeat herself. She did, and I didn't believe her. I, for some reason, demanded to see the ultrasound that was just taken because I was sure that she was wrong, and that I had seen a baby there. I looked at the empty space on the ultrasound where days before there had been a healthy baby swimming around. And I knew it wasn't mine. It couldn't be. There was a mistake; she was trying to take my baby away. It was a f***ing government conspiracy.

(excerpt removed for condensing purposes)

The months following my miscarriage were a blur.

I would cry at any moment, at anything really. I hated my body for the rejection of my babies that I was certain were adorable.

I was sure that there was something wrong with me and that I wouldn't ever be able to have children.

I was jealous of pregnant women, how dare they talk about their pregnancy in front of me. Couldn't they see I was hurting?

I hated them and their fertile, perfect wombs.

And through it all it was like no one really understood. They would either not say anything, but look at me in a real pitiful way – which just made me want to crawl under a rock, or they would say something dumb like that it was “in God's plans” or “a natural part of life”. I just wanted to scream to these people “You're not the ones that watched your babies bleed from inside your body, feel your belly twisting to reject your children...watching the remnants of them swirl around as you flush down the toilet!” They didn't understand what I had come to find – that this wasn't suppose to happen. This wasn't in God's original plans. Mothers were never meant to feel the loss of their children. And that is why I felt like a pool of shit.

Others seemed to understand, yet didn't really “get it” or help. They sent me sympathy cards with Bible verses on them, saying to look to God for hope and that my faith would carry me through my pain and give me strength. That I would become whole again by his healing power and through time. But if they really had understood, they’d have sent me a bottle of whiskey and a note that said, “God sucks.”

Six months later I was pregnant with my son Thorin. And although I am completely shaped by my experience, and still miss the babies that I have lost, I know that I have reaped blessings from this horrible time. If I would not have lost my twins, August and Autumn, my son Thorin would not exist. And that simply will not do for me. So I am content to have lost my children - they are over that rainbow waiting for me to join them someday, and they gave their place for Thorin.

A few years following I miscarried another child, Aspen, just a month before I became pregnant with my son Cedar. Once again one of my children gave up their place for a sibling.

Doctors cannot, and will not, find or give me an explanation for my miscarriages, as you have to have three or more consecutive miscarriages to warrant an investigation.

But I do know that studies show my next pregnancy (if one were to occur) has at least a 50% chance of miscarriage occurring. Those are hard odds to face.

But, I don't mind.

I love each and every one of my children.

2011-10-19T12:02:00.000-05:00

Joining Ginny again this week in her Yarn Along.

And revealing my dirty little housewife secret.

Hello, I'm Kristin, and I'm a Twilight fan.

Or, moreso, a vampire tales fan - I'm an extreme lover of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles (ie: Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, and Queen of the Damned.....) Anyways, the Twilight books aren't so bad. The movies are a little - under-par and made for teenagers, but, it's always interesting to see how well or not-so-well a book is translated to a movie. The latest Twilight movie is out in a month, so it's time to refresh the story in my mind - I think this will be my sixth reading of them. I don't go to movies very often - the last movie I went to just happens to be the last Twilight movie. ;)

I'm also nearly done with Thorin's pilot cap - that matches Cedar's orange one. Good thing too - today's high is only suppose to be 46. It looks like our short Minnesota autumn is here, and she will be gone just as fast (there was talk of snow somewhere in our area last night!!)

2011-10-14T11:13:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we recycled our broken crayons.

It was something that I remember doing as a child - and what better way to get more life out of the crayons. The boys have loved them so much! I am very pleased with this because we got Thorin a set of Stockmar block crayons for his birthday (coming up in December) Yes, our days are beginning to be filled with crayons and paper. I love it.

Yesterday morning was also our bi-annual shearing day. ;) I usually cut the boys' hair in the spring and late summer, but Thorin learned of Rapunzel, and didn't want to cut his hair - Cedar just sort of went along with it too, because I'm like that with them.

I thought that was fine, until Thorin started looking through his hair to see... we attempted using a bandana to keep it out of his eyes, but, well, playing sometimes doesn't allow for a bandana. ;) Anyways, yesterday he asked for his hair to be cut. I told him that was fine too - he was magical without long Rapunzel hair.

Thorin has gotten to the age now where he would sit still for me to cut his hair into a "style", but Cedar is far too young yet - so, I shear the kids. They like the "buzzer" and think its funny.

The blond is Cedar's, the brunette is Thorin's.

My shorn kids. We have seen Thorin with short hair quite a few times already, but Cedar has had longer hair for so long now that it was quite the shock to see him without hair. I feel bad that it is so far into fall to have such short hair - it's a good thing I learned to knit those caps!

This morning we've done the usual...

Diaper Laundry.

Chocolate Chip Cookies for Cooking day (Fridays are our cooking days) during week C.

And woolens out to dry.

I think this afternoon we will color some more. And some more. And maybe just a little bit more. ;)

2011-10-12T09:25:00.000-05:00

I'm joining Ginny this week, in her Yarn Along.

I am oh so proud to have finished my first pilot cap for Cedar! There are a couple of mistakes - but when I caught them I was far past them, and they didn't harm the integrity of the cap - so I just continued on (I didn't want to stop at all!). I suppose we can always find some flaws in whatever we do - I decided my knitting will be like when the Amish include "humility blocks" in their quilts. ;)

And I'm still reading the Curriculum Overview. I have been pleasantly surprised at how much I am enjoying this read - it contains far more than I expected, and I'm so glad that I got it (I debated for a long while about it).

I now have plans to make Thorin one as well - the coverage of the ears is wonderful!

In other news, we are entering into thanksgiving. I have always loved the Holiday of Thanksgiving, but thought it was cut awful short. We live in a society that isn't very thankful - but I find in myself when I am thankful, and have gratitude, that I am so much happier! I stop wanting what I don't have, or what I shouldn't really have. I stop comparing myself to others. I stop complaining.

For about nine months now I've kept gratitude lists - where I try to think of ten things every day that I am thankful for (small or big). Somedays I don't feel very thankful - other days I feel sooo grateful! So, since Thanksgiving is getting closer I wanted to start to bring this idea to Thorin. We have started by keeping thankfulness leaves - I have a little project planned with them later. Its still a little bit hard for him to grasp, but I'm hoping that if we do this every year in the fall, that he will eventually develop an understanding of gratitude. (Learn by example)

Today I am thankful for a warm cap for my baby, for good books to read, for uninterrupted time with my children, and for hot apple cider. :)

2011-10-11T09:58:00.000-05:00

For the beauty of the earth,
For the beauty of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies,
Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our grateful hymn of praise.

2011-10-10T18:21:00.004-05:00

Christmas IS my favorite time of year.

Today I'm joining Tonya with her Handmade Holidays 2011 and Abbi with her Handmade Christmas Carnival.

- What can I say, I love Christmas!

As a child Christmas was always magical - and no matter how little money my parents had, they always managed to make my gifts special, and usually just what I wanted, but didn't know it! I love preparing for, and celebrating Christmas! That being said:

There are only 75 days until Christmas.

For the normal American consumer, it's not Black Friday yet, and so, it's not time to think of Christmas. For our family - we have to start thinking way ahead of time in order to "pull off" Christmas. Both because of working costs into our budget (we do not charge gifts on credit cards), but also because we made a "vow" a few years ago to do as many handmade Christmas gifts as possible.

I've started a little pile of Christmas in my closet. :)

We are ordering a few things for the boys online, because we just can't make everything that we have on our list for them. One of these things was a set of wooden eating utensils. We have pretty much rid our house of plastics, and have been making do, or slowly replacing some things with more high quality goods. One of the things we wanted to do was to get the boys some wooden kitchen things for themselves.

We got these sets at Hip Mountain Mama.

Another thing we wanted for the boys were element stackers - which if ordered from one of the many toy companies online, would send our budget screaming away - and to make on our own would have been a little expensive and time consuming just for little stackers.... So, we found an alternative!

Cedar already got the fire stacker for Autumn Equinox - and so each boy will get another for Christmas. I found these unfinished (not even sanded) here, sanded them, stained them with water color paints, and sealed them with food safe wood sealer. :) 1/2 made by me! I like them.

I also have a few knitted items done, and ready to go.

And a bunch of our Chokecherry jam made all festive, and ready to hand out.

I usually like to wrap presents as I finish them up - then I don't have presents sitting around for the wrong people to see, and I don't have a stack of gifts to wrap at once.

This year Thorin helped me make wrapping paper from packing paper that was in packages we received throughout the year in the mail. I just saved it for wrapping paper, and we used some festive cookie cutters dipped in paint as stamps.

I am making really simple tags this year too - I got a circuit for Christmas a few years ago (I really do use it a lot) and have a cartridge with letters and tags on it. So I just cut them out - the letters are pages from a book that I'm recycling (it was beyond repair).

It may look like I have a lot done already - but in reality I've only just scrapped the surface. We have large extended families that also exchange gifts - and some bigger wooden projects planned for the boy's gifts.

You'll just have to keep coming back to see what else we have for Christmas!!

2011-10-07T08:37:00.001-05:00

An out-of-sorts teething toddler looks like this:

Those are our vintage little people on the floor... I can't tell if they are just going about their business, or if there were casualties...

Making a new pilot cap for Cedar looks like this:

I am actually making a pilot cap. When I first looked at the pattern, I thought "oh, I can do this". And then I started trying, and with all the adding stitches, and using markers (which I haven't done before - don't even have markers, I'm just using safety pins. Hey, necessity is the mother of invention, right?) and then I was thinking "That's it! I can't do it! I'm not really a knitter. I can only do super simple things...." But I ripped it out, started again after playing trains for a few hours with my boys and one of their friends that came to visit, and now, it looks like the back of a pilot cap. It even looks nice....

Making said toddler laugh and smile, even if just for a minute or two looks like this:

My baby is growing up...

Between 12 and 18 months Thorin completely changed. We have always thought - in his 12 month birthday picture he looks like a baby, and in his 18 month picture, a little boy.

Thorin's 1st Birthday

Thorin at 18 months

And our Cedar is caught right in the middle of this time.

2011-10-05T13:41:00.000-05:00

It's October, and yet temps are aiming toward 90 here today. Such a strange time....

I have been forcing myself to slow down immensely as of late. Life sometimes becomes a whirlwind - of my own creation. But, I am not a busy person, and when I do anything, I like to do it good and right, so I don't like to be overwhelmed or rushed.

Things do add up however: I have two photo shoots lined up for this month (both barters), and I have our own family pictures thought up and planned for this weekend. I am doing homeschooling with Thorin, and managing my newsletter (thank you to the new subscribers!!). Not to mention all the normal things - sewing, knitting, crafts, being a wife and mother....

and watching the views on this little page jump up past 4,000.

I haven't yet been sharing my life and words for a year.... so it's a little overwhelming, certainly humbling, thought provoking, and a wonder. Do I know where this hobby is headed? Nope, but I'm along for the ride.

I finished these up last night for Thorin. (found the idea here) He has been carrying the B rock around today - as we are on week B.

But more exciting is the book I received in the mail today! One of my alma mater professors, Dr. Jeff Wisdom, has written a book of his biblical-theological reflections on suffering. (Yes, in case you didn't know, I'm a Christian, and I went to Bible College)

While I was a student of his, he was diagnosed with stage four cancer - I very clearly remember the Community Life Hour where this news was shared to the student body. More resonating, I remember watching his journey. And later, as I was having my own journey, we discussed some of this very topic - with trials, temptations, and suffering, in his class on the book of James. I remember this all so clearly because Dr. Wisdom was the first person to show me where to find solace within the Bible during my time of great pain and anger.

Dr. Wisdom was already on the other side of his valley when, during my junior year of college I miscarried my first pregnancy - a set of twins that we chose to name August and Autumn. It was, and still is, the most difficult thing that I have ever been through. It's a very long story - involving a Doctor that I should have turned in for malpractice - that maybe I will have to tell sometime. For now, I will just say that I am so pleased to have a copy of this book in my possession. I am anxiously awaiting the moments that I can steal away to read it.

I tip my hat to you Dr. Wisdom. Congratulations on your book!

2011-10-03T11:16:00.001-05:00

I am still trying to lighten our world up...

Old pillow cover

New pillow cover - made from an old sheet

And I'm trying to finish up little things that I've been meaning to finish....

This morning I got two of the lacing cards done. I am determined my boys will leave my home knowing how to (at the least) sew on a button, and patch clothing. I plan on having them learn to knit as well...

When I first was wanting to learn to knit, I told my mother, who told the rest of my family. It was discovered that my 76 year old Farmer Grandfather once knew how to knit. His teacher at the one-room schoolhouse taught them all to knit one year, and also how to darn their own socks. That, however, was something like 68 years ago, and Grandpa couldn't remember how to cast on. :)

My Grandfather's hands - with Thorin over a year ago

My Grandparents have such interesting stories - someday I hope to write them all down, and preserve them somehow.

**edit** I almost forgot! It's historical Thanksgiving Day! The colonies used to celebrate Thanksgiving much closer to harvest than America does now - it was Lincoln that changed it to the last Thursday in November!

2011-09-30T08:53:00.001-05:00

Its A week for Thorin. Which means a whole lot of A stuff. Air painting (blowing paint around the paper with a straw) Animals, Apples, Art, Atlasessese (how do you spell the plural to Atlas?!) It's been a good week for the letter A.... mostly from the "comfort" of our couch.

We have a mild cold floating through the house... it settles in the eyes first, and then down into the nose and throat. I have had a lot of sitting time this week.

When my kids are sick - the house takes a backseat.... or, maybe it's really, the house gets kicked out of the moving vehicle and told never ever to hitch hike. My rough and tumble, "I'll-do-it-myself", too-big-for-their-own-good, brutes for boys melt into "MAMA hold me", sweet little orifice oozing cuddle bugs. I've done a lot of sitting on the couch with open arms for them to meander back and forth to (I have learned, if I try to do a lot when they are sick, it just makes them upset... and crying with a cruddy nose is never very good). They play for a few minutes... run back to me, and sit for double the amount of time they played....

The upside is that I got Cedar's scarf knitted, and Thorin's scarf half done, I finished The Dirty Life - which I found to be pleasant. I enjoyed the author's tone a lot. It will stay with me, in between We Took to the Woods and Possum Living.

But last night, with crabby kids, I needed to do something. Just something to say I did something this week.

I spray painted (with a left over can from the garage) a black shelf that was in our bedroom, moved it downstairs to the living room (which even involved a level and the drill!!!!) put it at mantel height, threw some stuff on it, and added my beloved picture of Eugene (yes, I just sent you to wikipedia. You love me anyways) that I got for my birthday last year. So now, I have a fake-use-your-imagination-leads-nowhere mantel in my living room. But, it's cool, because it's got Eugene. See, I could staple a dead rat to the wall... but with the right accessories, it would be cool. Ok, ok, maybe that's a stretch.... but, well....

Ok, yes. I do have the cold now too. ;)

*edit*
I just couldn't resist exposing you to the amazingness of my favorite gypsy.

2011-09-28T10:31:00.000-05:00

I think I am subconsciously drawn to dark colored things - maybe it's my melancholic temperament, or having two grubby little boys, and an equally grubby husband (sorry Kyle, but you know it's true) ;) so a lot of our surroundings end up being dark. The brown and red rug, the red shelves, the dark wood, browns, greens......

But sometimes I feel so weighed down by my surroundings. And my surroundings mean everything.

My husband will be the first to yell - if the house isn't cleaned up, I'm flustered and unhappy. It's not that I like to clean (I don't) or that I care what people think of the condition of my house (I don't) It's just that I can't function if the house is messy - I can't be happy me if I'm stepping over dirty laundry, and pushing dirty dishes out of the way to make lunch.

This causes some problems in the family - as I have two little boys that could care less about being tidy - in fact I think they like to be untidy, and I have a ultra-laidback-untidy and would-rather-do-anything-else-but-clean husband. Problem.

But we are all working on it. I am learning to leave a few messes, and the men in my life are learning that life is easier on mama if things are picked up.... we will find a balance.

Until then, I'm taking a few things in my own hands - and ditching some of the dark.

This might mean more work in the long run (ie: grubby kids and light colors don't mesh) but, for now, I feel lighter.

I sewed (always an awkward word - sewed) new light colored curtains for the dining room to replace the lovely (albeit dark) vintage green silk curtains that were there.

(sorry for the horribly dark picture - but I'm too lazy to go take another one) :D

I decided I'm in love with color again - and put in little "pops" by adding buttons from my stash.

Yes, I feel lighter already.

2011-09-27T16:07:00.002-05:00

In a sweater poorly knit, and an unsuspecting smile
Little Moses drifts downstream in the Nile
A fumbling reply -- an awkward, rigid laugh
And I'm carried helpless by my floating basket raft

Your flavor in my mind; back and forth between

sweeter than any wine, and bitter as mustard greens
And it's light and dark as honeydew and pumpernickel bread

The trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead

Go plow some other field and try and forget my name,

We'll see what harvest yields, and, supposing I'd do the same
I planted rows of peas, but the first week of July --

they should have come up to my knees but they were maybe ankle high

Take the fingers from your flute to weave your colored yarns,

and boil down your fruit to preserves in mason jars
And the books are overdue and the goats are underfed...

the trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead

You're a door-without-a-key, a field-without-a-fence
You made a holy fool of me, and I've thanked you ever since
And if she comes circling back, we'll end where we'd begun
Like two pennies on the train track; the train crushed into one

But if I'm a crown without a king, if I'm a broken, open seed
If I come without a thing, then I come with all I need
No boat out in the blue, no place to rest your head
The trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead

~In a Sweater Poorly Knit by Mewithoutyou

2011-09-23T10:32:00.000-05:00

It's Autumn Equinox!

It's time to give gratitude for the bounties in our lives - we all have them, we really do. Drink come cider, and drag out the socks and sweaters... it wont be long now, and the frozen tundra will return (for me at least).

We slowly changed our house this week to reflect what's going on outside.

Thorin and I made this wreath (with paper plate backing) - this kid sure does like glue! It was everywhere when we were finished! :)

We also made some tissue paper jar lanterns (I remember making these when I was a kid) to go along with our glow-lanterns that we made earlier in the week. We will light them tonight for our before-bedtime-reading. Only - Thorin got a little carried away with the glue again, and his lantern is just for show now, because it's filled with glue and tissue paper - and deemed a fire hazard! ;) I'm telling you - he loves glue.

We changed up our nature table - cleaned it, and put away the summer items in baskets.

We changed the book basket to our Autumn books.

The boys got a few little things in their "harvest baskets".... Thorin got a copy of Strega Nona's Harvest, and Cedar got Gerda Muller's Autumn board book. Thorin got the wooden acorns, and small bowl and scoop for his kitchen. Cedar got the fire element stacker that I sanded, painted, and sealed myself (he's also getting earth, and Thorin is getting water for Christmas)

And today we are indulging in homemade apple crisp with whipped cream topping and hot apple cider. Which couldn't come at a better time - it was 36 degrees when I woke this morning, and the high is suppose to be 67 degrees.

I am so thankful for the summer we had!

2011-09-20T12:50:00.001-05:00

I love fall so much. It's my favorite season. Thorin's home-learning is mostly a lot of free-play and imitation - and anything I plan for him mostly surrounds what's going on outside (maybe you have noticed we are using a lot of nature in our crafts, and have a lot of seasonal projects).

I've gleaned the ideas from this place, and that, here and there - and I'll try to mention where I got the ideas for your reference.

The latest fun project that we did yesterday were these "lanterns". You just paint glass jars with glow paint. :)

Please note: This is not my picture here - I couldn't for the life of me get a decent picture of ours - and since this is one of those "viral" projects on Pinterest, I didn't know who to ask for permission to use it. So, if this is your picture - credit yourself, and I hope I didn't offend you in using it! ;) I actually first found the idea on another blog, that I have linked the picture to.

Ours turned out a nice yellowish color, and really do work quite well - just be sure to "charge" them in the light well before use. Thorin had them on his dresser last night as he went to sleep.

We also made this nature necklace - modeled after this one. The acorn Thorin gathered (with a jar full of others) with his nana when we spent a day in the woods. Thorin practiced lacing/sewing by helping me string the beads on the cotton string.

And that picture might confuse some of you - why are there books on my hutch?

This is the dining room before. (Kyle calls it the "one room schoolhouse") I called it a mess after I started doing Paperbackswap! (If you sign up - say I referred you!)

It's a good site - you post your old books (which we had an abundance of after I went through and reorganized all of our books to get our college reference books on the shelves for Kyle's new job) and members request them. It does cost a little money, in that you need to pay to ship your book to the member that requests it. BUT then you get a credit for each book you send out, and you use credits to request new books - free to you! So, basically you get new books for the cost of shipping alone, and you unload your old books to people that will appreciate them.

And so, we started growing our collection of children's books - we really didn't have more than a half dozen books for independent readers. Well, guess what, in a few short months we will have a 4 year old..... and the years don't stop coming - before we know it, we will have readers. (Yes, I'm a "plan ahead" person)

We have a goal to educate our children with a mixture of sources - all of them using "real books" rather than textbooks. So I simply wrote down the various books, by reading level, that we would like the boys to be exposed to - and started requesting. Oak Meadow (our main curriculum choice) uses many readers/real books in their curriculum - and so far, from the help of Paperbackswap - I have all but one of the readers for their curriculum - through the 6th grade. ;) My goal of getting all used books for our homeschooling years might actually become reality. We will see....

Anyways - I gave up my hutch for more book/supplies room. These books will change as the boys grow - right now the middle shelf is filled with mama's books, and books for projects for Thorin's age, and the top shelf are the readers for when the boys can read for themselves. We kept the smaller bookshelf to the side of the hutch - it has all the books that are age appropriate for the boys now, and at their height so they can have access to their own books.

I know what some of you may be thinking - your kids are only 3 1/2 and 15 months old! Why do you need all this? Well, I don't need it right now, you are right. But, I take opportunities when they come, to benefit my family in the long run. The globe - nope, we don't need a globe right now, but, it was on double clearance, and I had the cash for it. So I got it. I have the 5th and 6th grade Oak Meadow curriculum. Why? Well, it was a barter, and I grabbed it while I could. You have reading books for 8th graders? Why? Well - I got rid of old books, and got them in exchange - it saved me money for tomorrow.

I think this is the true balance of a "vintage housewife"..... planning for tomorrow, but remembering to be in the moment today. Sometimes I do well at walking the line... other times I don't. But, I think I do pretty well overall. ;)

In other news, I sent out my first newsletter (30 copies) the first week this month. :)

2011-09-17T20:56:00.001-05:00

Remember I shared that I had a 9 lb block of beeswax sitting on my counter - that I got in a barter? Well, something had to be done with it... today was the perfect time to filter it.

The whole block (that brown stuff is the "gunk" you want filtered out)

A lot of the brown "gunk" (that's what we called it) was removed when we broke the block apart.

You can even see some drips of honey left in the wax there.

I started melting it in a pot.

Thorin was there watching every step....

There were a few departed bees in the wax.

(We thank you bees for your lovely wax, and yummy honey)

My "high-tech" strainer - a nylon stretched over a coat-hanger. It worked!

Another departed bee.

The finished product - cooling! (I got another one and a half of these out of my huge block)

I made a few little candles while the wax was hot. ;)

And now, with some 9 lbs of beeswax, I don't think I will ever have to buy candles again! :)

2011-09-16T08:33:00.000-05:00

It has been colder here now. Frost has given many gardeners a hard time.... I am not ready to turn on the heat, so I started drying our clothes in the dryer, and baking things. So far those two things have done a wonderful job.

But we still went outside, donning our more wintery hats, and thick sweaters, socks, and shoes.

What a goofy pair of brothers they are!

This is Cedar mid-sentence... or what he would like to think is a sentence. He jabbers a lot to us - we usually try to talk back to him, saying "yeah" "oh really?" stuff like that. sometimes he laughs... and we wonder what it is that he just told us. :)

I love these two boys. A lot.

2011-09-14T08:08:00.003-05:00

I am linking up with Ginny this week, in her Yarn Along.

More Christmas knitting going on here... they are all very simple projects, I'm still learning, and I have a lot of things to make this year - so no fancy stuff. This is the beginnings of a cowl.

I'm also about half through Possum Living. It was written in the 1970s by a young lady that lived with her father on just $1400 a year. Neither one held a job (only did odd jobs). Not all of their tactics are legal, but it is an interesting read on how to manage "living off the land" in suburbia. I don't think I'm really a "possum" (the totem she gives herself), but I do like a good barter, and I like to make things myself.... so, maybe I'm half possum.

Speaking of a good barter - last Friday I traded our too small for us tent for 9 lbs of unfiltered beeswax. It smells glorious!!! I have just left it on my counter because of the smell. But now I need to learn how to filter it. Anyone know? Oh the candles we will make!

Yesterday we did leaf rubbings (mine is on the left, Thorin's on the right) - Thorin's turned into a drawing of a map. A map showing where Kyle (my husband) took him to look for the leaves. You and I can't really read this map, but I listened in as Thorin was making it, and it is quite detailed - right down to the gnome in our backyard. Oh what a beautiful mind he has.

What a mishmash post. :)

2011-09-12T09:42:00.002-05:00

FOOD!

Yesterday afternoon we froze a half batch of corn (seven cups), canned seven quarts, and one pint Italian sauce, and made up a gallon jar of patio pickles that will be ready in three more days. My feet hurt after it all, and this morning I had one messy kitchen to clean up, but it's all worth it.

The patio pickles sound soooo gross, but they are really good. You basically layer cucumbers, garlic, and dill in a gallon sized jar. Boil 2 quarts water, 2 cups vinegar, and 4 tablespoons salt. Jam a piece of rye bread on the top of the cucumbers, and pour the hot liquid mixture over that. Put the cover on, and put it outside in the sun on your "patio" for four days. Once four days is up, open it up, scoop the mushy rye bread out, and refrigerate! They end up crunchy like the "store bought" ones! My grandmother has already made three batches because everyone in my family keeps eating them too fast.

My shelves are full. :)

2011-09-08T14:01:00.002-05:00

Today we made an apple banner. It is apple season after all. :)

We got the idea from Heaven on Earth: A Handbook for Parents of Young Children. Only, I think we should have gone with the muslin as suggested, the prints had a harder time showing up on the rough burlap (I had burlap on hand, and thought it would suffice). But, Thorin loved it, and that's the whole point.

We cut little "handles" in the back of the apples for Thorin to grab onto them better - and cut half in the middle to reveal the "star" inside, and half to be shaped like apples.

The horse had to come check out what was going on. ;)

I attached a branch and embroidery thread to hang it above the toys.

I often carry Cedar on my back in a Boba - so when I came across this kid's sling from Creative Play for Your Toddler: Steiner/Waldorf Expertise and Toy Projects for 2-4s I thought that Thorin would really love it, either for "Bun Bun" or for Bluebird his doll. I sewed it last night - and attached the snaps today. It went together really fast.

I attached the little felt circles to hide the stitches from attaching the snaps.

Thorin has yet to take it off. Mr. Bun Bun is in it now.

(It looks crooked in this picture - but it's not in "real life")

And now I have to go clean house. Kyle has his installation this Sunday, and I do not know who may be stopping by our home afterwards.... :)

2011-09-07T15:23:00.003-05:00

It has been a great few days in our home. The projects that I planned for Thorin are being loved. It was just what he needed (I honestly think he was getting bored). Today we painted trees, and added construction paper leaves. Thorin said his was a cottonwood tree "from when daddy took me for a walk".

The other night they went for a walk and brought home leaves to compare to our leaves chart. Apparently he learned what a cottonwood tree's leaves look like.

Yesterday I made Thorin his own play crown. Cedar got one for his birthday, and Thorin very much liked it - but he couldn't even share it because it wouldn't fit is head.

Thorin, King Oakenshield would be proud!

He picked blue felt, which was pretty perfect, because I chose blue for Thorin's new cloak (his old cloak was also blue - like Thorin Oakenshield).

Remember when I shared this picture?

Those are the boys cloaks - I made them each one before they were born (to reflect their namesakes). But, I didn't realize that Thorin's no longer fit him (in a major way) He needed a new cloak. Bad.

Here he is! (yep, his shorts are on backwards. But, he put them on himself) ;)

Ahhhh. Much better mama!

He's hard to get to stay still.

I also finished up a Christmas gift (It's a scarf). Onward to the next one!

2011-09-05T13:31:00.002-05:00

Good Afternoon!

It's the first day of home learning for our family!

(well, it's not like we haven't learned previously to today, but... well, you know what I mean)

Thorin woke all bright-eyed and ready for the day.

We got dressed. Brushed our teeth. Made our beds (and added an extra quilt to each - last night got chilly already) And headed downstairs for breakfast.

We sang some songs - "Skip to my Lou" is this week's song, and the "Alphabet Song"

Saturday I made alphabet cards for Thorin. I really loved these but budget did not allow for them. SO, I made my own. I just water colored some paper, wrote the letters in marker, glued cardstock to the backs, and then "laminated" them in some transparent contact paper that I had from a book repair awhile ago.

We looked at them while singing.

Then we colored some shapes - he likes diamonds, hearts, and crescents the most, and says cubes and cylinders are "too hard for me now mama". :) I agree!!

Then we did some bag painting. Fill a plastic bag with paint, seal it well, tape it to the table, give them a q-tip, and let them draw, write, and make pictures in the "erasable" paint. It entertained him for quite a while.

This morning while Thorin and I were playing together, Cedar did what he does best - pulled books off shelves, emptied the pot cupboard, dumped out the blocks, and found the pile of clean and folded dish towels to unfold. ;) And, everyday I clean it all up, for him to do again tomorrow. :) These things are safe for him to do, and keep him exploring and busy while I do other, not-so-kid-friendly tasks (like opening the oven door, for example)

After Thorin was done playing with the painting bag, during playtime, I was able to finish two more pairs of recycled wool sweater pants for the boys (they go together so very fast). I have another pair for Thorin cut and ready to sew, and one being lanolized right now (they will each have three pairs to start).

Then it was lunch...

And now it is nap/rest time. Thorin many times says he does not want to nap. So I have him lay in bed with a book - 9 times out of 10 he will fall asleep, and usually sleep for two hours. So, yes, he still needs a nap. But, that is not surprising to me - I've always needed a lot of sleep to feel good, and function right.

When the boys wake, we will go outside until Kyle comes home from work. Thorin said he would help me shuck corn, and put sauce on the chicken for supper (we are sucking the life out of what we have left of grilling weather).

And tomorrow is another day. ;)

2011-09-02T22:57:00.003-05:00

We have been telling Thorin that we are going to be beginning something new in our family, where we learn new things together. I've refrained from calling it school too much... I think that might be a little hard for him to understand, but he is getting excited! He is very ready to have some structure and rhythm to his day - some projects to do, new things to tell people about.

We needed some new candles in the house - I decided a while ago to order a candle making kit for kids to include Thorin! No heat involved - you just roll the wick up in this sheet of beeswax. It was fun.

Thorin looks cross-eyed here. ;) I assure you he is not.

And, of course, blowing the candle out.

2011-09-01T11:59:00.003-05:00

Oh what a busy time these past few weeks have become. I normally am not one for scheduling busy times... in fact, I hate "being busy". It's definitely not my style. I am not one to be totally spontaneous all the time, in fact, I like to know what's going on in advance, but, I don't like to feel like I'm running from place to place to place....

We have been cleaning house, bartering, sewing, organizing, taking stock of our winter clothes, partaking in social engagements, and doing all things with books.

We have sold books, we have traded books, we have bartered for books, we have purchased a few books, and we have organized books. If that seems like a lot of books, well, it's because it is. When we moved here three years ago - the largest portion in our moving van was taken up by boxes of books. I gave up long ago in thinking that we could pair down our books to a more moderate number..... we are just a book family, and will always have a lot of books.

I even had to go through, organize, and shelf our old college reference books - because my husband just got hired on as a Youth Pastor for a church in town, and he will now be needing them! We need more shelf space.... ;)

I have also been doing last minute preparations for Thorin's school year. We officially begin on Sunday with a trip to our local CSA to learn about how our food grows. The owner has two boys a little older than Thorin, so they are excited to take him under their wings and show him the farm ropes.

I didn't tell you about my awesome barter!!! I've been into bartering for a while now - my husband and I even started a Facebook bartering page for our area, modeled after the one that is in the town we used to live in. So a lady posted on the bartering page that she had some 5th and 6th grade Oak Meadow curriculum she would like to barter. It turned out to be all of the 5th and 6th grade curriculum books, and the 7th grade math book - and all she wanted were some vintage earrings, one of our old DVDs, and for me to sew some curtains for her daughters room. Hawt dawg! She was a very lovely and generous lady, and I am so thankful to have stumbled upon her offer. Thorin is no where near 5th and 6th grade, but I just can't help but feel blessed to know that we don't even have to think of purchasing those materials. ;)

After the barter, and with all the luck I have been having on a used Waldorf curriculum yahoo group, and through Paper Back Swap, I have decided to take on a personal challenge of trying to get all of the boy's school books secondhand. ;) We will see throughout the years how I do!

So, these are some of my "teacher" books for the school year. I got The Children's Year and Seven Times the Sun at abebooks.com, the two Oak Meadow books on my used Waldorf curriculum yahoo group, and bought the Christopherus book. (whoops, already a notch against my goal to buy all secondhand curriculum... BUT, I did buy it before I made that goal, and before I knew about the yahoo groups :) )

And here are some of Thorin's books for the first few weeks.

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (this was my copy from when I was in kindergarten!)

LMNOP and All the Letters A to Z

The Dangerous Alphabet

The Children of the Forest

A Treasury of Mother Goose

and not pictured is our copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales.

So that's it! Thus begins a new chapter of our lives in which we become teachers to our children.... :)

2011-08-29T16:30:00.003-05:00

On this day, 26 years ago, my mother gave birth to me. After a very long labor I was born "sunny-side-up" - and ever since then, I have always just done things the way that I wanted to do them. I was two weeks overdue, and I am still just as stubborn. Thanks mom for life, and life in abundance. :)

2011-08-19T13:26:00.002-05:00

The frugal child's lunch:

Peanut butter and homemade chokecherry jam sandwich on homemade bread. (My children don't like to eat them together - silly kids!) - Chokecherries hand picked for free, jam made at home, bread made at home.

Organic tomatoes - from Nana and Papa's garden and free. (My kids hate all but like three vegetables, but I give them some sort of vegetable to eat anyways.)

Organic vanilla yogurt (bought on sale) and mixed in homemade strawberry freezer preserves to make strawberry yogurt. ;) - strawberries bought on sale when they were $0.98 a pound, preserves made at home.

Real American cheese slices - bought in bulk.

Cost? I couldn't even tell ya. But I know it's cheap, and more importantly, good. ;)

The chokecherry jam is wonderful!!! I think the boys thought it was candy or something. ;)

2011-08-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

Whew! We finally got the chokecherry jam finished.

We made it all Monday night, but upon investigating it on Tuesday morning, discovered that our no pectin recipe didn't set up (did we just have too much wishful thinking?!).

So, we had like 30 jars of chokecherry syrup - ok if we were to eat 300 lbs of pancakes in a year, but, alas, we don't eat that many pancakes.

So last night, we got new lids, opened all the jars, started boiling it again, added a little more sugar, and some pectin. It worked this time! I did save out three jars of syrup, but we ended up with 28 half pint jars of jam. That's a lot of jam - I'm giving some as gifts, and hoping to maybe use some for bartering.

I feel so ferhoodled lately... I feel like I do housework all day long, every day, but nothing ever really gets done. Cedar is also teething something terrible - and last week was sick one day with a fever (my kids never get fevers). I spent the whole day just sitting and holding him.

I know I can't do it all, I shouldn't expect myself to - it's just hard when I can't really "see" that I've done anything, yet I know I've been working all day. A never ending cycle I suppose....

2011-08-14T22:21:00.002-05:00

Whew! What a (good) day.

We started out early this morning, and drove the hour to my parent's home. My dad made us all a "heavy" breakfast of biscuits and gravy, and then Kyle went out with my dad to bait bear (for hunting) while my mother and I took the boys to the backyard to start picking chokecherries. They've got such a nice little grove of them, it was cool and shady all morning while we were picking.

Thorin practiced his tree climbing (which is really just wishful thinking and a lot of grunting at this stage in the game).

The chokecherries were very ready, and easy to pick. Some of them were rather juicy.

Some would call this work, but I found it rather peaceful, and calming.

When I was a young girl one summer my cousins and I went with my grandma to pick chokecherries. Back then there was a place on the Reservation where we lived that would buy them, and we brought in five gallon buckets full. We all made enough money that summer to each buy a pair of new shoes for school.

My parents' house is in a little neighborhood outside of the town they work in, but the whole backyard is fenced in, and two sides of their property is bordered with an alfalfa field - the boys roam freely, or just try to break out.

It was such a beautiful day.

Our bounty was great.

And then, my mother drug out the basket. And started picking... and picking... and picking.... she sent me home with a "care package" that nearly filled the pantry.

I now have tomatoes to make into sauce and can, carrots to chop and freeze for soups and creamed vegetables, onions drying for cellaring, as well as potatoes, and peppers, squash, and the first ears of corn to eat up. And they haven't even "harvested" yet. (and my dad was worried about the garden this year because of the late frosts they had.... psht. Looks fine to me dad!!)

And, to top it all off, my parents gave us a gift for our anniversary last weekend. They handed us some cash, and sent us out the door, to go eat supper at a restaurant, together, with no children. This is something I don't think we have done in two years. For sure our last "date" was over a year ago, for our last anniversary. It was very nice to spend some time with Kyle.

After supper we took a nice walk down by the lake near my parent's house.... and the children didn't even miss us! ;)

Yes, it was a good day.

2011-08-12T09:55:00.001-05:00

Joining SouleMama this week in:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

2011-08-11T21:30:00.000-05:00

I feel like I have no real content to add lately... I've been deep cleaning the house (ug, it soo needed it), and lining up all the projects I have to finish before fall comes, before I start homeschooling with Thorin, and before winter is upon us.

But we do take time to just be.

Just be together, without really doing anything in particular.

And I take time to dry some flowers that Kyle gave me last week.

And I take the time to show you my favorite chair a little closer...

A couple of you commented on my pillow in the last post. Well, there it is, on my favorite chair. The afghan my great aunt made (she was gone long before my time) the chair is just a worn-out thrift chair (but I spent so much time rocking both my boys, nursing them, watching them sleep, in that chair) and the fabric on the pillow form is a vintage reproduction feed sack print.

I'm really into the repro. feed sack fabrics.... I have a whole little stash of them that I still just don't even want to cut into, and a family quilt that my MIL made out of repro. fabrics.

And my mom called - chokecherries are ready... so I am gathering things to collect them in. I, yes I, am going to make my first chokecherry preserves this year. Wish me luck!

2011-08-09T23:16:00.000-05:00

I'm linking up with Ginny this week in her Yarn Along.

I've started Christmas knitting....yes, it's early, but, it's going to take me that long to get them, and the other non-knitted gifts done.

And I'm currently focused on reading Simplicity Parenting. I had heard such great things about this book that it went on my "list" (yes, I have to keep a list) and finally came to the top.

It couldn't have come at a better time in life either, what with all of our changes that have occurred this year already.

It's been a great read, but slow. And that's perfectly fine - I find that I am DOING while reading, and thus, I'm being slow about it. It's one that is dogeared, and underlined... it wont be leaving my shelf anytime soon.

What are you reading?

2011-08-09T20:31:00.000-05:00

It was such a nice day today (cool, sunny, and breezy), so I took the boys to Island Park so they could really run around. Thorin called all the other kids on the playground his friends, and Cedar actually ran after a child to give him a hug (a first ever for my shy one). I remembered my camera...(I often forget it when just "being" with the kids)

2011-08-06T00:03:00.003-05:00

As of today I can say...

I have grown up rural.

I know how to work hard.

I had a free and creative childhood.

Me as a child - late 1980s

My dad chose me, my mother is just plain stuck with me.

My sister and I fight, then don't, then do again (but we love each other).

In high school one of my jobs was writing for a newspaper.

I was also on the school's news production "Laker Live" for three years, even though I am an extreme introvert.

Punk days in college

I have dyed my hair every color imaginable, sometimes more than once in a day… and now not at all.

I have glued things to my face for the sake of beauty.

I have modified my body for the sake of art.

Dunton Locs - summer I was married

I have been white water rafting.

I have climbed a mountain.

Colorado - 13000ft

I have been to the beginning of the Mississippi.

I have loved, and hated New York City.

I have shaved my head out of anger, and out of boredom (it happened more than once).

I have lost three babies.

I have graduated college (with good grades) when the odds were against me.

I have given birth to two of the greatest boys ever.

Thorin - minutes old

Cedar - minutes old

I have felt sadness for no reason other than hormones.

I became a stay at home mom (when I couldn't even imagine having children as a teenager).

I have seen a quarter of a century.

And

I have been married to my best friend for 6 years (we have been together for 9).

Happy Anniversary Kyle. Try for another 6 years? :)